Last night, I had a fancy consult with a big time storytelling guru about my TV pilot. It’s (very) loosely based on my life, and so with me as the main character, she’s asking casually, “What’s Alicia’s fatal flaw?” “What’s her deepest childhood wound?” “What’s her biggest dream?”
The stakes: I have to a) be honest and b) perceive it correctly, or the show won’t feel authentic and it won’t sell.I rattle off my shadows aspects… what I have become an expert at identifying in myself: addictions, compulsions, resentments, fears…
As I check around inside, that voice crackles, “Nothing’s changed! Nothing improved! Also, who even wants to see this show?” As if years of therapy have melted away in seconds. Tear ducts ready for battle.
(I fantasize that instead of writing all this, I could just get a job! A totally bland, impersonal, uninteresting job. Something that doesn’t remind me of anything. Something that doesn’t make use of the many years of training I’ve put in.)
But so, no big deal… Just the deepest, darkest shadows of your soul, on display, turning yourself inside out. Making it into “art”. Or if I’m lucky, “commerce”. And you know what? I WOULDN’T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY.
Because writing and performing (comedy) is my deepest spiritual practice. I’m required to show up with my whole self. To continually re-source myself by going to the well of creativity. To dig into the muck and examine myself honestly. To accept and allow what I see. To alchemize it all in the body of writing, and finally to share it in a way that both transcends and includes the muck.
So, of course things have changed. Of course things have improved. And this is how I know: I have the gifts to prove it.
You know if you feel called to do this. You know if you’ve been putting it off. And you know if it’s time. Don’t die with your story inside you.
I only work with a few clients at a time. Both to give you proper attention and also to make sure my projects keep rolling. I have space for two new VIP clients who are ready to create a standup show, a book, a speech, or a script.
Want to chat and see if it’s a fit? Contact me.